Reinvention and BJJ
Dust Mop Jiu Jitsu: The Combat Base: Part Six
Port City Brazilian Jiu Jitsu-Newington, NH
-On reinventing yourself in BJJ and remembering who you are
This is the Fourteenth article about my journey in Jiu Jitsu. If you want to know more about what this project is, you can read more about it in the first article here.
It’s also the Sixth of 7 articles about my time as a member of Combat Fitness MMA. While I was there, I would learn to push myself beyond harder than I ever had.
There’s a funny way that Jiu Jitsu shapes your personality. You kind of forget who you were before you did it. That’s not instantaneous of course. There’s a slow process of getting absorbed into this cult-like lifestyle. A denial of sorts.
You hear about some things that you can’t imagine yourself doing. “I’ll train but I’m not gonna compete.” That turns into “I’ll compete but I won’t cut weight.” All of a sudden you’re intermittent fasting, watching ADCC highlights and quoting John Danaher’s most recent interview on Rogan. The thing for me is that all of this happened away from home. It started in Korea then I moved to Vermont where I continued to train.
After a year of living in Burlington, Rachel and I were at a crossroads. We loved it there. My gym, Combat Fitness MMA, was finally feeling like a community, I had competed twice and was about to compete again in the new year. But Burlington is small. Even as the largest city in Vermont, it only has around 50,000 people. Rachel wanted to get a phD and I wanted to be a therapist. We had to consider moving somewhere else.
In early December 2019, we found ourselves in New Hampshire. Here’s another interesting fact. New Hampshire is next to Vermont and is almost the exact same shape except for being upside down. Rachel was spending a few days looking at the University of New Hampshire in Durham.
It’s strange visiting a place that you might be moving to. Rachel hadn’t even applied yet but the professors there were still willing to meet with her. I used to work there when I facilitated people on high ropes courses. That felt like a lifetime ago. But from my connections there we had a beautiful place to stay near the sea coast. Those friends weren’t around but I knew they would be if I moved there. I also knew it wouldn’t be difficult to find work in that area. But that’s not what I cared about. I had to find out what the Jiu Jitsu community looked like.
I found Port City BJJ because I was still in competition mode. Right before thanksgiving I competed in my third tournament where I lost every single match. I was determined to get back on the horse and was putting all my effort into it. There would be a new tournament after the new year and I was going to throw myself back in the ring.
Port City was part of a wider sports complex complete with a gym and a field area for track training. I used both before the class because, for the first time in my life, I had paid for professional strength and conditioning from Combat Fitness MMA’s very own boxing coach Anthony Bambara. Anthony was our gyms biggest draw. While a Jiu Jitsu class often had 12-15 people, boxing classes jammed the mats. He also was a certified fitness instructor who gave me my start at guided weight lifting and conditioning. I was determined to work harder than I ever had in preparation for the next tournament.
The Jiu Jitsu classes at Port City were nice and intimate. I’ve written many times before in this blog about how important it is to measure success in a way that goes beyond the black and white of winning and losing. I remember being paired with someone bigger for sparring and making him panic. He tapped me for sure, but I made him work hard for it.
The second class I went to was more memorable for me. The instructor was a goofy dude who drove up from Boston to teach. I remember him the most because he reminded me of the world I used to belong to.
People in the jiu jitsu world seem to love the reinvention trope. It makes sense, you get stronger, faster, more efficient and mentally tough. You realize that the person you are could kick the ass of the person you were. But that’s natural. It happens over time.
I come from the world of outdoor facilitation. Goofy people who like to have fun and aren’t macho. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been so pleasantly surprised about feeling at home in jiu jitsu. But this instructor reminded me of a friend whose house I happened to staying at. A guy named Jeff Frigon.
Jeff is an incredibly nice guy. A great outdoors instructor, facilitator and a dad joke teller extraordinaire. He’s kind of the opposite vibe that most BJJ gyms cultivate. So imagine my surprise when his doppleganger is teaching the class at Port City BJJ. This guy looked and sounded like Jeff. They even had similar mannerisms.
I remember approaching him and asking him
Me: Do you have any relatives around here?
Him: No not really.
Me: You look and talk just like my friend Jeff who lives around here.
Him: He sounds like a really handsome guy!
Me: …See Jeff would say that…
Of course, I don’t want to give you the impression that everyone at Port City was like him. Sure enough, this old dude with a bald head bigger than Dana White’s was sitting on the side with his arms folded giving the instructor the stink eye.
Instructor: This guy always seems to have a problem with me
Dana White’s Twin: There’s no problem. You’re just not manly.
Dana White’s Twin had actually lived in Burlington Vermont. He got his black belt from Vermont BJJ. “He’s the weirdest Brazilian. He keeps everyone at brown belt forever and once you get yours, he ignores you. Once I told him I was moving to New Hampshire and he just told me to make sure I paid my last bill on time. That’s the last time we spoke.”
I had a blast that day. I felt like I would be comfortable living in that area and signing up with Port City if Rachel went to UNH. Spoiler alert, that’s not what ended up happening. But still, I left feeling okay with the possibility of moving.
The Dust Mop Takeaway from visiting Port City is about self acceptance. I was coming off a three tournament losing streak. I thought I had to abandon who I was to become someone who could win. Sure I would become stronger, faster and more confident. But that instructor helped me realize I didn’t have to forget who I was to be better at Jiu Jitsu.
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If you ever want me to visit yours and write about what it’s like to learn from you, feel free to reach out at [email protected]. You can also follow me @DustMop_JiuJitsu If you want to read my articles as soon as they’re published be sure to subscribe on my blog site!
